Ever found yourself wondering if you're charting your own course or just going with the flow? Our journey gains depth when we follow our instincts and pursue the desires of our hearts. But if you're not doing that, you might be coasting through life, letting it throw surprises your way.
This scenario hit me, and more than once. I made choices influenced by others' opinions, beliefs, and judgments, or simply let situations unfold without actively determining my goals, priorities, and desires.
While compromises are sometimes necessary for important relationships, it's crucial to draw the line between what you truly want and what you're willing to compromise without betraying yourself.
So, why does this happen, and more importantly, how can you break free and seize control of your life's narrative? Drawing from my own journey, here's a list of reasons that often hinder us from actively shaping our lives:
Shifting Responsibility: We often find it easier to shift the responsibility of decision-making onto others or blame our circumstances.
Ignorance of Options: Not knowing the full spectrum of choices can hinder our ability to make informed decisions.
Self-Imposed Limits: We play a mind game with ourselves, what Gay Hendricks calls the "upper limit problem" in his book “The Big Leap”. We tend to cap our potential based on biases ingrained during our lifetime, particularly in childhood.
Shedding Childhood Constraints: If your parents made decisions for you, leaving little room for your choices, you might now be unsure of what you truly want or be limiting your freedom as an adult.
Confronting Self-Worth Issues: Carrying unresolved childhood trauma might make you feel unworthy of pursuing your path or getting what you want.
Fear of Failure: The fear of making mistakes, facing failure, or the sting of rejection can paralyze us, preventing essential risks for personal growth.
How to Break Free:
Here are some actionable steps to reclaim control of your life:
Own Your Choices: Accept responsibility for building your life; it’s a unique journey that only YOU can navigate.
Don't Worry About Judgement: As long as your intentions are good, who cares what others think? Life is YOUR journey; own it.
Meditate and Listen to Your Intuition: Regular meditation tunes you into your inner self, helping distinguish between fears and genuine desires.
Know What You Want: Every now and then take the time to think of what you really want and keep track of your life vision making sure you don't drift off (Vision Board really helps! Check out my article "Create A Vision Board to Help Find Meaning in Life: 7 Steps")
Action Over Inaction: Actively pursue your goals; taking the first step is often the hardest but the most crucial.
Dream Big: Allow yourself to dream without constraints. Desires often outweigh fears, and failure is not the end but a stepping stone toward growth. You only fail once - when you give up.
Remember, it's okay to let go and enjoy the present moment, but let it be a conscious choice rather than an escape from challenges. Listen to your intuition and heart to discern when it's time to surrender and when it's time to persevere. Life is a journey of conscious choices, and each decision shapes the path ahead.
Comments